Mary's Closet

I remember talking to my mom about my sister Mary’s closet.  Since Mary Magdalene passed away on October 29^th of this year, her closet has not been touched.  Her clothes and shoes still in her closet, pajamas and blouses in her dresser drawers all remained untouched.  My mom and I would bring up the subject about going through Mary’s clothes and shoes to see what may donate to a non-profit organization but it seemed too painful and too soon.  Just now, I can honest feel that Mary is actually gone.  It hasn’t been easy going into her closet and seeing clothes and shoes that will never again be worn by Mary. Two years ago when Mary would have plasmapheresis procedure done at the hospital, she would be gone for about a month.  It took ten days for the plasmapheresis procedure to be done, and then she would have occupational and physical therapy till the end of the month.  She had plasmapheresis done quarterly so she would be gone four months out of the year. I kept thinking that Mary was at the hospital; however now, I finally realized that she isn’t. 

Once again the subject of Mary’s clothes came up in conversations with my mom and I.  “There are clothes hanging in Mary’s closet that can cloth someone who is in need of clothes, we need to donate Mary’s clothes to someone who has none. Maybe next year we can go through them, okay Mom?” “Well maybe next time when we get a donation bag left at our front door we can go through them,” answered my mom. “Okay, that’s sound good.” I said.  I was hoping that we wouldn’t receive a donation bag any time soon; I thought we would not be looking into donating Mary’s clothes until next year, I was wrong.

This past Monday a non-profit organization left a donation bag at our front door with a paper stating,  “Will pick up on Friday, please have bag out by 8:00 am.”  It was a non-profit organization for at-risk youth and families dealing with drug and alcohol abuse.  I picked it off our door and showed it to my mom and she said, “I guess we were going Mary’s clothes sooner than later.” I looked at my mom in dismay and said, “I guess so.”  My mom looked surprised at me and said,” Who is the one who was talking about clothing the naked and giving to those who have none,” “I know, I know, I just thought we wouldn’t get anything until next year, that all.” I said.  My mom puttered towards me with her walker and gave me a hug then said, “Mija, we need to do this, we need to be strong.  You know Mary wouldn’t mind if we gave her clothes to someone who has none.”  “I know, your right.  I just didn’t think  it would come so soon,” I said.  “I know but we talked about it and I think it’s time because here is a donation bag.  We haven’t gotten one in months so I think Mary is trying to tell us that it’s time,” answered my mom.

The next morning my mom and I started to go through Mary’s closet and dresser drawers in her bedroom.

 As I picked up each piece of clothing and I got a flash back of my sister Mary.   I closed my eyes and I could see in my mind Mary wearing each blouse I held in my hand.  I picked up her shoes and I remember taking her shopping for each pair.  I held a favorite blouse of my sister and plunged my face in it, it had Mary’s scent and I just started to cry as I buried my face in her blouse.  I looked up to find my mom doing the same.  “I know it’s hard but we need to do it Mija,” cried my mom as tears ran down her face.  “I know, but it isn’t easy,” I said.  “I never said it was going to be easy, I said it has to be done,” answered my mom. 

As we filled the several bags with shoes, blouses, t-shirts; each one had a memory attached to it.   We had a total of four full bags and they were picked up the very next day.  Mary’s clothes were doing  anyone any service just hanging in her closet.  After today, at least we know they will be hanging in someone else’s closet to clothed someone else.  Both my mom and I kept an item or two because of sentimental value and I know Mary would understand.