Gratefulness

I have been a bereavement minister for the Los Angeles Archdiocese for over ten year.  Through the ten year I have been through many journeys with families that have lost a loved ones.  However, it wasn’t at my parish where I ministered at but at my place of employment.

Working at a credit union at the time I was going through my bereavement certification, I often thought about how this was going to change and evolve my life.  Once the certification program was completed and I received my certificate, I assisted two families at my parish with making arrangements with the funeral and vital of their loved one who had passed away.  However, as time pass on, I found myself called to minister to families who lost a loved one that were customers at the credit union.  With each family that came to my desk became such a roller coaster ride of emotions. Some people were sad, angry, happy, and solemn.   With every family that came to my desk,

I experienced God’s grace to deal with the family’s needs.

 Every time a deceased account would come into the credit union, I would get a call from the receptionist. 

“We have a deceased account, can you come and take it?” said the receptionist.

“Why me?” I asked. 

She replied, “You’re the bereavement minister, aren’t you?  I know you will be able to take good care of them”,

“I’ll be right up, “ I replied as I hung up the phone and walked up to meet the family.

One of the rules of bereavement ministry is never minister to a loved one who passed in your immediate family.  Also, if you do suffer a loss in your immediate family, you need to separate yourself from bereavement ministry and stop ministering for one year so you can greave and heal from your loss.

When the Parish Life Director asked me if I wanted to conduct the vital and funeral mass for my sister Mary, I was shocked.  I couldn’t believe it but I agreed.  I then asked her for assistance because it had been a while since I actually assisted anyone in the process of planning a vigil and funeral mass.  One Saturday afternoon, the Parish Life Director came to our home and gave me some books, ideas and directions on vigils and funeral masses. 

At first, I thought I was going to be able to do this for my sister with no problem and felt it was just another opportunity for me to be open to where God wants me to go.

However, when my sister did passed way and I had to start the process of planning, it got harder and harder to complete, I kept procrastinating and getting distracted.  I would pick up the vigil book or Catholic Funeral book and for the life of me I could not stay focused.  That is when I felt I was way over my head and  I felt like I was drowning with out any help in sight. It’s ironic how God’s grace works in the most trying times of one's life, even when I think I am at my wits end and can’t go any further.  God picks me up, dusted me off and give me the strength to go one more day.  With the help of my mom, I was able to complete my sister’s vigil and funeral mass.  We sat down and we walked through the whole process together.  Picking each song and reading with great detail and love that would reflect our love for Mary and our faith.   It took everything we had in to complete it and I know I am a stronger person in faith because of it.  The readings, songs, intercession, presenting the offertory gifts were just for the funeral mass and the vigil was another mountain to climb but we climbed it. 

Would I recommend this to anyone else?  At first my first my thought would be “No way!  It’s too hard and emotional to do” However, given the fact that we did it as a family and has brought us closer as a family, I would have to now say it’s really up to the person.  At first, I was lost but with prayer and support from my mom we was able to complete it.  I know this experience has made me a stronger person not only in faith but who I am as a person.  It brought my mom and I closer and I believe that it was through my sister’s intercession and God’s grace that pulled us through and for this I am grateful.