Monday, May 9, 2011

Mother's Day 2011


Does anyone remember jigsaw puzzles?  I remember my parents bought  many boxes of them through out my childhood.  Some jigsaw puzzles came in very small pieces and some have large ones. I remember the vibrant pictures of  landscaping mountains or the crashing of the seashore against the rocks,  the forest always had the colors of the Autumn season as my family would work together in completing the puzzle on the dining room table of our home.  Sometimes the worst thing about completing a jigsaw puzzles can be when it come to the end of it and the last piece of the puzzle would be missing.  We would look all around the dining room for the missing jigsaw piece and sometimes we would find it and sometimes we wouldn't. While we would be working on the puzzle, my mom would give us our own section to work on and when we finished our section and placed them all together, we would get such a great sense of accomplishment as we all gazed at the finished puzzle. Sometimes  a jigsaw piece from the box would already be bent or broken apart in two so  my mom would always find a way to mend it with some clear sticky tape.  After my mom would fix the broken jigsaw piece she would say, "Look, it's good as new," and place the puzzle piece in it's proper place to complete the jigsaw puzzle.   
Reflecting on these memories reminds me of how Mother's Day 2011 may have felt like to my mom.  Most of my brothers and sisters who lived local came to visit my mom, we are all the different pieces of my mom's heart.  All of us sat together and talked and laughed with stories from the past, just like placing different parts of a jigsaw puzzle that comes together as one.  My mom received beautiful flower arrangements, colorful Mother's Day cards in the mail and in some cards where given person by her children, the array of  the different colors of the cards and flowers reminds me of the many different colors of a jigsaw puzzle. My mom received phone calls for her sons and daughters and that would make her happy because she always loved to hear from her children.  However, this was the first Mother's Day without my sister Mary Magdalene and I knew my mom's heart was sadden.  Even though my mom  darn well knew that her daughter Mary Magdalene is in heaven, I know that my mom longed to see her and wished things may have turn out differently.   Mary Magdalene is my mom's missing piece of her heart's jigsaw puzzle and it has been a painful one.  My mom knew that her daughter is no longer suffering or in pain but the pain in my mom's heart will always remain and as time goes on it may lessen but will never be completely gone.   At the end of the day, I asked my mom about how she was feeling about Mother's Day without Mary and she said,  "I miss her very much but I know one day I will be with her again," and smiled.  I hugged my mom and said,"Your right Mom, you will,"   One day my  mom will finally find the missing jigsaw piece of her heart that is waiting for her up in heaven.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Six Months Later...


On April 29th it has been six months since our sister Mary Magdalene went back to heaven to live with God our Father, Jesus Christ his son, the Holy Spirit and all  the angels and saints;  I know she is in very good company in heaven.  Yet my heart is still healing for the pain of loosing my sister even though I know she is in a much better place.  Here is a picture of the Mary, our sister Irene and myself at the last family gathering celebrating a birthday of one of our brothers and meeting our newest nephew for the first time.  I remember posing for this picture as all three of us just looked into the camera and smiled. Now when I look at this picture,  it strikes me with the most remarkable feelings of love.  Mary's warm smile and her familiar streak of the natural silver highlight on her dark black hair that God placed  especially on her head,  just reflects the love she has for her family.    When my sister Irene would come and visit us at home, Mary would always gleam with excitement and say, "Renie's coming," and just be so happy to see her come over for a visit and would be looking forward to spend time with Irene.  My sister Irene has been living on her own for years and Mary loved every-time she'd come over for a visit.
 Today is the sixth month anniversary of Mary's passing; this morning I was on our computer when I read on a social network that my sister Irene had dreamt of Mary the previous night.  In this dream she told Mary how much she loved her and Mary's replied "I love you more,".  As I sat at the computer after reading my sister's comment and I was just in awe as it brought me to tears because I too had a dreamt of Mary yesternight.  In my dream I was calling for Mary though out our home and did not get any reply from her,  "Mary where are you?  Where are you ?" I said in the middle of my sobs, I couldn't find Mary anywhere.  As I started to feel myself coming out of my dream when I suddenly felt someone hugging me just the way my sister Mary used to give a hug.  Then I heard Mary softly say, "It's okay Emils, it's okay".  I woke up so startled and yet  had such a sense of peace, as I swiped the tears from my eyes. In reflection on what my sister Irene and I dreamt the previous night, I just want to say, 
"Thank you God for allowing our sister Mary Magdalene to comfort us."